It's The Secret World MMO. It's just a game.
But...
Having to part ways with someone in your cabal can be nearly as distressing as firing someone from a job. Sure, it's not like you're depriving them of wages, or upsetting their family finances, and sure, it's far easier to find another cabal than it is another job.
But...
It still hurts. Both the person who is let go, and the people who let them go, often experience significant stress. On the cabal management side, it's often far more appealing to just let it slide for longer and longer and longer. Unsurprisingly, if you have someone in your cabal that really needs to go, this is just going to let those reasons fester, and maybe spill out onto more of your people.
On the personal side, being "fired" is a statement that "you don't belong here and/or we just don't like you." As terrible as it is to say to someone, it's worse when that someone is you! It will affect their self-worth, their confidence, and can be humiliating.
Which is why the mantra "hire slow, fire fast,” is a thing. The firing process is so traumatic - for everyone, that you want to avoid it if you can, and if you can't, you need to do it right.
 |
| This is where we part ways... (From Funcom's media library) |
Can't I just ignore this person?
Short answer, no, its bad for your cabal and it's bad for YOU as a person. You're doing the rest of your cabal a great disservice. A lesson from the business world (from Danny Boice, the co-founder and CTO of Speek) is that you are, as a cabal manager, likely to spend more time dealing with the minority of people in your cabal who are problematic than the majority of people who are doing great. So you are, essentially wasting your time with problem management rather than investing your time and energy into the people who are awesome.
Let me ask you this question. If you're a cabal manager, what's more likely to get you down and contribute to burnout - dealing with the problems, or working with the people who are fun, active, and working towards your cabal goals?
You can't just ignore the people who are dragging you, and your cabal down. If you've got someone that is consistently a thorn in your side, then it's time to consider parting ways - it's best for you, and it's best for the people who are depending on you.
By the time you get to this point, you should have had several heart-to-heart conversations about what's not working. It's unfair (in most circumstances) to just kick someone without making a sincere effort to try to get them more settled into your cabal culture. There are exceptions, but they're usually cases of extreme malfeasance that we're not going into here.
Let go of your pride - the mistake is yours, not theirs.
If you get to the point where you need to ask someone to leave your cabal, you need to admit that YOU were the one that screwed up the recruiting process. Putting aside your pride, and owning the blame for the situation should be high on your list. Consider apologizing to the person that because 1) it's true and 2) it may help them decide to move along voluntarily.
Let it be their decision to go.
The key to letting someone go with dignity is to help them realize that they are better off somewhere else. It's much less embarrassing to move on than to be gkicked. Try to lead them to the discussion. Even a simple set of questions can be useful. "Are you happy here? How do you feel your role in this group is working out? Where do you see yourself going in the future?" Focus on where the person wants to go - and point out that this is the time for this person to go do that thing. Maybe they want to start their own group. Maybe they want a group that focuses on different things than your own cabal does. Maybe they need more structure - or maybe less! Regardless, focus on this person's "dream cabal". He or she may decide that it's in their best interest to strike out in a new direction - and it really is. If it evolves into a situation where the person is voluntarily moving on, then that way, the person is still in charge of his fate, and can go with dignity.
Don’t procrastinate.
If you've tried to remediate this person, and you know it's not going to work out, then don't procrastinate. There are few things more demotivational than having someone in your group that is a problem - and for the rest of your cabal to see you (a cabal manager*) doing nothing about it! In some cases, this can be seen as a tacit approval of the very behaviors that make the person in question a poor fit for your cabal culture.
Be clear about what happens next and help them as much as you can.
Let them know, at the end of the conversation, what happens next. You might give them some time to say goodbye to friends in your website, but take them out of the in-game cabal immediately (so there are no unfortunate temptations with items in the cabal bank). Do whatever is best for your group.
Also, let them know if you're willing to help them find another cabal. Sometimes, if it's just a question of fit, you might be willing to help the person relocate.
Announce it to the cabal and let them say goodbye.
Hopefully, the person sees this as his or her decision, and sees that (in reality) this is in their own best interests. Ideally, it can be announced as the person's decision. Sometimes a forum post on your own website is the appropriate medium (so the entire group can see it), sometimes a discussion in game on your cabal chat channel is better. Regardless, find something nice to say about this person if you can. If they've contributed to your group at all, now is the time to call attention to that and thank them - honestly - for what they have done.
When someone leaves, make sure that the cabal managers can be around in your forums/chat and in game to make sure to quell negativity. People may need time to adjust and/or grieve and you would rather be there than not. Be sure to tell your people the truth - that the split was in everyone's best interests.
* Cabal manager is an inclusive term that indicates a cabal leader, a cabal officer, or a cabal veteran that is widely looked up to even without a formal leadership title.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Outside comments:
"Whenever someone left my guilds/cabals, I've always cautioned my guild members the same way. "How we treat someone who leaves is going to say more about who we are as a guild than how we treated them when they were here." That is true whether it was a voluntary or involuntary separation.
I always tried to make sure that when I had to /kick someone from my guild, they understood why. They may not agree, but I tried to help them understand. In the best cases, I would ask them to voluntarily leave the guild rather than being forced to /kick them."
Jonray - The Secret World Forums, 12-02-2014
No comments:
Post a Comment